To Be Honest, I Feel A Little Out of Place

The culture shock that comes with this move is out of the world at times. Moving from Coeur d’Alene, ID to Scottsdale, AZ is not as seamless as I would have thought. Having lived so many places, I figured that the transition to this area would be the same as any other place I’ve lived. New people, new faces, new house, but same ole routine.

I was trying to think today about why this move is effecting me more than moves have in the past. First, it’s hard to be apart from the one you love. Raquel is staying up in CDA until the end of April to pack up the house and work out the CDA office, training her replacement. Congrats to her for getting the job she has been striving for! There are definitely some big professional changes on the horizon – all of which we are beyond excited for.

But, on the other side of the coin, moving from the culture of a small lake resort town in North Idaho to one of the largest metro areas in the country has proven to be more of a societal eye opener than anything else. It seems as if the urban sprawl in this area has simply become a land grab to illustrate riches. The further away you get out of town, the more you establish your place in society. I was sitting at lunch today with a group from work and they were talking about how much this city has changed in the last two decades. Stock statements as in “I remember when Sun City didn’t even exist” et al.

It’s tough driving around in your beat up old Ford truck when you see cars worth more than what you’ve made in your entire life come flying by you. I feel, in this situation, there are two things that can be done:

1.) Conform.

2.) Categorically reject what you see around you and use it to reinforce the way you look at life.

The first choice is obviously the easy route. We see it everyday in fashion trends, popular music, and popular celebrities. Societal hive mentality exists. In our constantly changing cultural landscape, there is one new thing after the other. To totally reveal my Thursday night television viewing habits, Heidi Klum delivers the best punch line: “One day you’re in, the next day you’re out.”

The second is harder because it involves actively rejecting several of the concepts thrown in our face daily through the mass media. It seems that there is not enough emphasis on simply being a good person these days. On making sure that the effects of your decisions impact other people in the same way that you would want to impact you. Not enough of a social conscious – or looking out for the person next to you. When it all comes down to it – isn’t that the most important concept?

P.S. – I heard the best term today. For those of you who haven’t been to Old Town Scottsdale, there is a lot of douchebaggery afoot. Ed Hardy and Affliction shirts as far as the eye can see. Steroid infused arms everywhere. In other words, the hours of 9 PM to 2 AM are prime peacock observing hours in Old Town. One of the guys I work with referred to several of the guys in Old Town as “$30k Millionaires” because they make a paltry salary, yet pour it all into their outward appearances (cars, clothes, accessories, etc.) And people wonder why the banks don’t give anyone credit these days.

Here’s To New Adventures

When the clock strikes midnight tonight, its chime will signal the end of my first full day in Scottsdale, AZ. For those of you who don’t know, the headquarters of the company I work for moved to Scottsdale recently – as did my job. I was excited, in a sense, to get out of Coeur d’Alene. While I love my friends, the townies, and the area, I felt as if there wasn’t much else for me there other than work. If it was a place that I had lived in ever since I was little, I could understand that the decision I made would have been a different. But, truth be told, I’ve lived in 7 different states so moving is not something that is terribly new to me. States have a 2 year shelf life before I have to move on. At least that seems to be how it is.

I had this grandiose plan when I left that I was going to compose two or three posts around the actual act of moving. But the moment I started up the truck and hit the highway, my ancestral trucker instincts* kicked in. I was Hell-bent for leather the entire trip down here. If I could have, I probably would have tried to drive all the way through to Scottsdale without stopping to rest. It’s one of those young and invincible sort of contests that I felt I needed to have with myself. But, due to weather and traffic conditions, I decided to stop in Provo, UT.

I’m not sure if there’s a city in the United States that has received a bigger “initial disapproval” from me. It could have been the fact that the hotel was 4 miles off the highway. Perhaps it was the gigantic Ty Detmer poster staring down at me in my room. Or it could have been the hotel clerk that didn’t understand the concept of a “Wake-Up Call”. The hotel room sucked – that was for sure. It was as if the Utah Correction Facilities master architect had designed a Super 8. Friday night was a blur of energy drink withdrawal and The History Channel’s “Gang Land”. By 5 AM, I was back on I-15 south.

For those of you that haven’t been to Provo, UT, it looks extraordinarily different in the daytime than it does at night. I don’t know that much about Provo or its surroundings, but it does look like a place that is worth exploring.

The drive down through central Utah was a little boring – very hilly in spots and surprisingly covered in snow. I say surprisingly, but there are probably those of you reading this who are thinking, “Uh…it snows there, idiot.” For me, when I know that my end result is the desert, I seem to make the rationalization that everything between my departure and arrival should gradually turn into desert.

Southern Utah is a lot prettier than I imagined it to be. I fell in love when I saw the coral pink rock faces running parallel to the highway. I could only imagine what it must be like to stand on top of those ridges and have the ability to literally see as far as the eye can see. I am utterly fascinated with the way that the solitary nature of the desert can make one feel so secure.

Now if that isn’t a place that invites aimless meandering, I don’t know what does. Flagstaff, AZ reminds me a lot of a mini-Coeur d’Alene. Or at least the Arizona equivalent. The drive down I-17 into Phoenix was fairly quick – only one wreck to slow traffic. I’m not looking forward to making that drive again in a month with a 24-foot moving truck. Ugh. Let’s not get into all that.

Phoenix itself was a bit of a culture shock. Being in North Idaho for the last couple years has really made me sensitive to traffic. It’s been a long, long time since I’ve been in a true traffic jam. When I hit the AZ-101 Eastbound, traffic was stopped nearly bumper to bumper. For no real apparent reason. There was no wreck anywhere. And then, as if the flagman dropped the Green, all of the traffic floored it to 75 MPH. I’m definitely going to have to get used to the traffic again.

All I can say is thank God Raquel bought me that satellite radio before I left. The comedy station kept me entertained the whole way and I had the ability to listen to all of the basketball games. It was a long, long trek (nearly 1,400 miles). I made it fairly quickly because I only stopped to use the restroom and gas up. I should have taken a picture of the floor of my truck – it was littered with Amp and Red Bull cans.

So, as I said, I’m now an Arizonian. This is another state that will go on the list of “States I Never Thought I Would Live In”. So far that list is:

1.) Missouri

2.) Idaho

3.) Arizona

Stay tuned for more to come. Being away from Raquel makes me extremely lonely, so I’m sure I will spend a lot of time creating material for the website. Which, as you can see, has changed appearances again. I like the old format that I had, but it was a little too busy – didn’t focus enough on the content.

With that, I’m going to eat some dinner and watch the Amazing Race. Have a good night!

*I do not have any trucker ancestors.

Worst. Movie. Ever.

I can watch almost any movie at any time. It doesn't matter what genre it is, who's in it, when it was made, or anything else. I love movies for a lot of the same reasons I love books -- the lives of the characters are microscopic and temporary. Movies allow the same thing, just in a bite size piece. Artistic finger food. Also like books, the amount of time that movie crews devote to their craft warrants a look-see. But, as we all know, what we find can typically be crap. Just because you see a preview for it doesn't mean it s good. Just because you see a book in the "Featured" section at Barnes & Noble doesn't mean it's a masterpiece. It's merit is not justified by its existence.

All of that being said, I can conclusively say that I've found the WORST MOVIE EVER. Finally! After all these years of searching -- the recent Fame remake has shocked me in so many ways that I never have to look again. It's really a major milestone in American cinema, if you think about it. It is Absolute 0. Every film maker from here on out can sleep easily. As long as they use one iota of logic and show some originality in their film, it will be light years ahead of Fame. I feel bad (sort of) for bashing the movie so bad, but it is so stereotypical (in the worst way) and superficial that there is no possible way it could save itself from itself. There are plenty of bad movies that come out, don't get me wrong. But at least movies like Sex Drive, Crank, and Step Up don't hide behind their gimmick. They know they're crap. But at least they're good for something original (jokes, absurd action, and dancing, respectively).

I don't even know the names of any of the characters. Well, scratch that. The angry black kid is Malik. And there's a Jenny in there somewhere. In the beginning, this movie has ambitiously started 46 different story lines only to find itself an hour and a half in saying..."Oh shit..we're running out of film." Boom. Finish. Senior year. Forty six different story lines, zero resolution on any of them. Nameless emo kids graduate from Emo Kid High...just the same as the rest of the fodder in normal schools. If the movie's goal was to make an 11-year old girl somewhere smile, then it probably excelled to Oscarian heights.

While the quality of this Family Guy clip is crappy, it is the perfect 23 second reenactment of Fame.



In Raquel's words, "Out of all the talent in the whooollleeeeeee world, this is the cast they chose?!" They didn't even sing the damn song!!

End scene.

Look What Happened by Accident!!

I know I promised more content, but I got drunk instead. So...this is so my fault. I played the worst darts of my life tonight and now I'm resigned to Burger King, Amazing Race, and the Oscars. Get excited for the obligatory Oscar's post tomorrow. It should be good. Hopefully. If 'The Blindside' wins anything, my post will be entertaining. Trust me. For now, enjoy this irreverence.

More to come, but for now -- smile!

Sunday Night Irreverence

Gotta love it...

Great way to enter the work week!

On Chatroulette

Thank God for the internet allowing us to live in such a glorious age. Right? It depends upon who you are. But, nevertheless, the internet has become the hugest depository of mindless entertainment and humor ever assembled. If one has time that needs killing, the internet is the pale, bald headed hitman that double taps time in its sleep. For free.

Case in point – Chatroulette. This site is the epitome of the irreverent nature of the internet. For those of you that haven’t been there yet, the main gist of the site is cam-to-cam chatting with complete strangers that could be doing literally anything. All you do is flick your webcam on and away you go. (Caution: the male anatomy is very present on this site…which makes me worried for the world.) The fact that this site exists shows that the vast majority of the world has nothing else better to do on a Sunday night. But, its existence also proves to me that the internet is our only direct pipeline to clinically insane people. Which is the beauty of it all, really.

The first cam that popped up on my screen was a group of 6 guys, dancing to some techno song. While fairly hilarious, I knew that there had to be something crazier out there. Then, the cycle started. Member after member, laying in their bed on their sides, staring into the camera. 100% middle aged men.

What in the high holy hell are these guys looking for on this site? It was created by a teenager. And is really dominated by teenagers. What could they possibly gain from this? I’m not going to delve into this theory too much – too disturbing.

The site is not for everybody – but for those of you that can stomach the more repulsive side of the site, it can provide some unpredictable and rather unforgettable hilarity. I would definitely say it’s worth a look-see just for the sheer morbid curiosity of it all.

Here is an amazing video on Chatroulette:

chat roulette from Casey Neistat on Vimeo.