Worst. Movie. Ever.

I can watch almost any movie at any time. It doesn't matter what genre it is, who's in it, when it was made, or anything else. I love movies for a lot of the same reasons I love books -- the lives of the characters are microscopic and temporary. Movies allow the same thing, just in a bite size piece. Artistic finger food. Also like books, the amount of time that movie crews devote to their craft warrants a look-see. But, as we all know, what we find can typically be crap. Just because you see a preview for it doesn't mean it s good. Just because you see a book in the "Featured" section at Barnes & Noble doesn't mean it's a masterpiece. It's merit is not justified by its existence.

All of that being said, I can conclusively say that I've found the WORST MOVIE EVER. Finally! After all these years of searching -- the recent Fame remake has shocked me in so many ways that I never have to look again. It's really a major milestone in American cinema, if you think about it. It is Absolute 0. Every film maker from here on out can sleep easily. As long as they use one iota of logic and show some originality in their film, it will be light years ahead of Fame. I feel bad (sort of) for bashing the movie so bad, but it is so stereotypical (in the worst way) and superficial that there is no possible way it could save itself from itself. There are plenty of bad movies that come out, don't get me wrong. But at least movies like Sex Drive, Crank, and Step Up don't hide behind their gimmick. They know they're crap. But at least they're good for something original (jokes, absurd action, and dancing, respectively).

I don't even know the names of any of the characters. Well, scratch that. The angry black kid is Malik. And there's a Jenny in there somewhere. In the beginning, this movie has ambitiously started 46 different story lines only to find itself an hour and a half in saying..."Oh shit..we're running out of film." Boom. Finish. Senior year. Forty six different story lines, zero resolution on any of them. Nameless emo kids graduate from Emo Kid High...just the same as the rest of the fodder in normal schools. If the movie's goal was to make an 11-year old girl somewhere smile, then it probably excelled to Oscarian heights.

While the quality of this Family Guy clip is crappy, it is the perfect 23 second reenactment of Fame.



In Raquel's words, "Out of all the talent in the whooollleeeeeee world, this is the cast they chose?!" They didn't even sing the damn song!!

End scene.